trying to make sense of the randomness
bring order to the chaos
fun to the work
with no luck
stuck with the drudgery
laughter long gone
tears streaming down the inside
no where to cry on the outside
living moments by motion
days slip away
life carries on
waves throw me along
each incident building
leading to overwhelming
no me in sight
lost in everyone else
their needs more important
more pressing
more needy
sour looks leaking out
a frown where a smile once permanently lived
desiring the past and the hurts that lived there
hurts that affected no one but me
now any hurt only hurts others
me most of all
in the bottle it's stuffed in
awaiting the science fair explosion that's sure to come
spewing on anyone around
when a rock to crawl under
would be the best choice
but
wait
someone's
calling
no time
I'm needed again
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
This Little Light of Mine...
"...I'm gonna let it shine."
Except that I don't always. Sometimes I hide my light. And I'm not just talking about sharing the love of Jesus. I'm talking about the light that he has put in each individual. The light of my uniqueness--some may even say quirkiness. The light that wants to break out like it does when the Beast transforms into the Prince in "Beauty and the Beast." You know the scene at the end? Light shoots out from his fingers and toes and it transforms him.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? We are all meant to shine...and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." --Marianne Williamson
I could let the light shoot out of me and in its presence, darkness wouldn't stand a chance. But I hide it under a bushel (that's like a basket) and then no one even knows it's there. Some of my closest friends catch glimpses of it, but it's really just like lifting the edge of the basket and taking a peek.
I think I'm afraid of the light. I'm afraid that if I shine, I will always have to shine. And sometimes my light bulb gets grimy. So I don't. Because I don't want anyone to be disappointed when I'm not brightly lit.
But how unfair is that--to me and those around me? If it's true that when I shine it touches others and they are encouraged to shine, then that is reason enough to do it. Raging infernos could be started in other people's lives because of my glimmer. It would be like passing the flame at a Christmas Eve Candlelight service. My light touches yours. Your light touches someone else. Soon everyone is ablaze and light abounds.
"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." --Matthew 5:16
The world is different because we are living out who we were created to be instead of hiding it because it doesn't look like everyone else. I am free to have brilliant ideas without worrying about other's thinking they aren't. I am free to be gorgeous without hiding in sweats, and even when I am in sweats. I am free to be talented in the things that other's may think is odd for a young (okay, I realize I'm reaching the age when that is debatable, but still) woman to do. I am free to be fabulous in all that I choose to do.
Each person's light is going to be different because God did not create any of us alike. I drive by this light store on my way to work each week and the whole store is illuminated by light. There are lights for everything. My light is frilly and girly and pink with sparkly crystals. Yours may be all those things too, but it still won't look like mine. Ours each shines differently.
I can't wait to see your light.
Shine today.
Except that I don't always. Sometimes I hide my light. And I'm not just talking about sharing the love of Jesus. I'm talking about the light that he has put in each individual. The light of my uniqueness--some may even say quirkiness. The light that wants to break out like it does when the Beast transforms into the Prince in "Beauty and the Beast." You know the scene at the end? Light shoots out from his fingers and toes and it transforms him.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? We are all meant to shine...and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." --Marianne Williamson
I could let the light shoot out of me and in its presence, darkness wouldn't stand a chance. But I hide it under a bushel (that's like a basket) and then no one even knows it's there. Some of my closest friends catch glimpses of it, but it's really just like lifting the edge of the basket and taking a peek.
I think I'm afraid of the light. I'm afraid that if I shine, I will always have to shine. And sometimes my light bulb gets grimy. So I don't. Because I don't want anyone to be disappointed when I'm not brightly lit.
But how unfair is that--to me and those around me? If it's true that when I shine it touches others and they are encouraged to shine, then that is reason enough to do it. Raging infernos could be started in other people's lives because of my glimmer. It would be like passing the flame at a Christmas Eve Candlelight service. My light touches yours. Your light touches someone else. Soon everyone is ablaze and light abounds.
"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." --Matthew 5:16
The world is different because we are living out who we were created to be instead of hiding it because it doesn't look like everyone else. I am free to have brilliant ideas without worrying about other's thinking they aren't. I am free to be gorgeous without hiding in sweats, and even when I am in sweats. I am free to be talented in the things that other's may think is odd for a young (okay, I realize I'm reaching the age when that is debatable, but still) woman to do. I am free to be fabulous in all that I choose to do.
Each person's light is going to be different because God did not create any of us alike. I drive by this light store on my way to work each week and the whole store is illuminated by light. There are lights for everything. My light is frilly and girly and pink with sparkly crystals. Yours may be all those things too, but it still won't look like mine. Ours each shines differently.
I can't wait to see your light.
Shine today.
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